BOOK REVIEW ∼ Jasper Bark's "Stuck on You", by E. N. Dahl

Every so often, a book comes around that makes you say, “What did I just read?” Such is the case with Jasper Bark’s little book of visceral horror, Stuck on You.

I can’t say much without spoiling the story, but the “Look inside” function on Amazon provides you with the first 4 chapters, so I’ll stick to those: In a few words, Ricardo wakes up in the woods, disoriented and in pain. He soon realizes lightning struck him while he and Consuela had sex, killing her and fusing their genitals together.

That’s already pretty bad, but another horrifying thought comes to his mind. How is he going to explain this to his wife?

The action of the story weaves between past and present, providing a timely look into international smuggling, blending the frequently-comedic gore with a little dash of satire. There’s plenty to laugh at thanks to Ricardo’s relentless self-pity and the awkward situations he gets into while ‘attached’ to Consuela.

Bark’s writing isn’t afraid to look at the graphic details, whether we’re talking about blood and guts or the sordid affairs people get wrapped up in when they decide to engage in criminal enterprises. The ending in particular has a twist that manages to shy away from moralistic brow-beating and instead falls perfectly into Ricardo’s character, serving more as a “bite you on the ass” moment than some sort of divine comeuppance.

At 51 pages, this is a lightning fast read–pun intended–so it’s perfect for those of you caught up in the rat race who want to squeeze in a nice read over a long lunch, or between board meetings. Or, you know, anyone else who likes raunchy, punchy fiction. It’s a tale as funny as it is gross, and certainly not for the faint of heart, but definitely deserves a place in every horror-lover’s library.