IT'S A WONDERFUL KNIFE: Movie Review By Matt Boiselle

Starring : Jane Widdop, Jess McLeod, Joel McHale

Directed by: Tyler McIntyre

If you’re a fan of the SCREAM franchise, and oddly enough just happen to be a lover of the 1946 Frank Capra/Jimmy Stewart holiday classic IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE, then have I got good (maybe?) news for you. From director Tyler McIntyre (FREAKY, TRAGEDY GIRLS) comes the Xmas slicer/dicer IT’S A WONDERFUL KNIFE, and sufficed to say, there’s more red than green in these yuletide colors, that’s for sure. Grab your cocoa & cookies, ya little brats & gather round the fire, cause this Nasty Noel is gonna rain some peppermint-fire down on this film.

The film takes place in the fictional town of Angel Falls, and there’s not only snow on the ground, but a heavy shoveling of B.S from the project development manager, played to the campiest hilt by Justin Long, complete with enhanced front-veneers. His plan is to renovate this sleepy little town into a bustling, multi-million dollar shopping & dining destination…only issue is that there’s a serial killer on the loose – named “The Angel” and clad in all white, slashing all the way through the townspeople like a corn-thresher on the loose. Local teen Winnie (Widdop) eventually puts a cease to The Angel’s sadistic ways, killing him, but instead of being looked as as a savior, a year later she feels as if everyone has looked right past the memories of all that were wrongfully taken in the murders, and she begins to question her own existence.

A la the ways of the great George Bailey, she wonders what it was like if she was never born, and one day that wish comes true when she awakens in the town and she’s treated like a complete stranger – even her own parents have no knowledge of her being. On top of all of this confusion, it looks as if The Angel never died, and just keeps on killing…what’s a girl to do in the face of all this holiday hubbub? With all of the fluffy seasonal sentiment, crudely concocted with endless quantities of teen angst and brutal slayings, it’s as if someone swallowed the entire series of “Dawson’s Creek”, all 6 (uggh) SCREAM films, then forced themselves to puke it back up into the laps of the viewers. It’s a goofy mish-mash of ideas that had its place in the 1946 film, but something just seemed amiss with this derivation.

Don’t get me wrong – I didn’t hate this film by any stretch – the gore was adequate, a few of the performances were interesting (Joel McHale & Katharine Isabelle’s characters seemed to be limping through this one), and the end result will have you feeling as if Santa got you everything you wanted on Christmas morning…me however? I’d just prefer to have that 90 minutes back.

Author

Matt Boiselle

At the tender age of 6, Matt was indoctrinated into the horror genre by his mother, who asked him to sit down and watch "The Exorcist" with her - ever since then, it's been a blood-soaked, neon-lit, fever dream of an existence. "You don't make horror...horror makes you."

(Can't remember who came up with this quote, but he was probably off-kilter like I am).