10 horror films I adore... and the Garbage Pail Kids by Richard Long

I saw most of my favourite horror films back in the early 1980’s. In the UK, back when television had a mere four channels, the introduction of video rental shops was a blessing. I have many memories of being allowed to stay up and watch horror movies alongside the latest episodes of Cheers. Worth noting was video classification was slightly lost on my parents.

Unless it had sex or drugs, I could watch all the bone-crunching zombie tearing fantasy I wanted to.

Sometimes when I watch these old horror movies, it makes me nostalgic for those times. However, while some movies I’ve remembered with rose-tinted spectacles like Rosemary’s Baby and Exorcist 2, some have stayed with me.

Like looking through old photographs they make me remember a time when my parents were still around and watching a movie was an event that required planning and time not just scrolling through Netflix.

Here, I’m sharing ten horror movies that are worth a watch, a revisit or recommendation.

I am not a film critic or reviewer so these choices are personal and are more recommendations you might hear from a friend in the pub than a stiff critic that panders over the hidden meanings and artistic merit.

I’ve tried to pick movies from a wider spectrum rather than just low budget or arthouse or mainstream…these are films which, at some point in my life, made a lasting mark.

Superstition (1982)

Directed by James W. Roberson

When released, Superstition was not listed on DDP legendary video nasties list in the UK but prior to the list, video shop owners were threatened and in some cases, their copies confiscated for fearing it would fit the bill of what would be deemed offensive, according to the not still released Video Recordings Act 1984.

Released pre-cert on the VTC label in the early 1980s Superstition, eventually got a blink and you’ll miss its cinema release in 1984 under the title ‘The Witch’

When Rev David Thompson moves into a cursed house with other families in a remote area of the country he soon discovers the mysteries surrounding the nearby pond.

After several deaths, he learns a witch was put to death by drowning in the pond. Making the silly decision to drain the pond, the crucifix which was in the pond and sealing the witch within it is brought out, allowing the Witch to roam around in the daytime and kill anyone that comes near her once favourite dwellings.

Here we have the foundations to a movie that plays out like a theme park ride.

Throw in a ‘cop on the edge’ character, along with a wise old woman and “Quasimodo witch apologist” and we have a wonderful and scary movie with slasher elements, haunted house moments and a cheeky Exorcist rip off that works really well.

Set pieces work well. Mood and atmosphere are intense leaving you nervous and on edge, due to the film being devoid of any comic value and darkly disturbing in which the Witch kills without prejudice, slaughtering Priests, men, women and children (not on screen).

The main scares in this movie come from the Witch. In flashback scenes, she’s possessed and demonic voiced to great effect but just as effective is her cloaked appearance in the present day, silhouetted and always in darkness, all we get is her awful and deeply disturbing cackling laugh which still sends shivers up my back.

Also noted must be the inventive death pieces which include death by buzz saw, window chopping, and microwave… yes microwave.

Throw in a ‘cop on the edge’ character, along with a wise old woman and “Quasimodo witch apologist” and we have a wonderful and scary movie with slasher elements, haunted house moments and a cheeky Exorcist rip off that works really well.
Richard Long

However, for all its warts, I truly love this movie. Easily, it rests in my top five all-time greats. It works so well due to James W. Roberson keeping the mood tense regardless of some high-end melodrama.

For all its faults and low budget confinements, Superstition is a wonderful movie, caringly crafted in mood and pace that shouldn’t be forgotten.

Don’t go in the House (1979)

Directed by Joseph Ellison

I’d heard lots about this film from various video nasty documentaries and books, but I hadn’t actually seen it until it was released a few years ago on DVD. I had seen the early UK video sleeve by Arcade Video which, judging by its cover, expressed to me, this was going to be a grungy awful horror movie, that psychopaths might enjoy whilst eating raw fish heads and torturing small puppies.

What I didn’t realise at the time was Arcade Video were great at producing striking and shocking video sleeves that sometimes were more shocking than the film they were advertising.

Don’t go in the House reminded me of all the American horror movies I’d watch in the 80’s, like Friday 13^th and The Burning.

Donald is a disturbed young man who, after an abused childhood in which his mother would physically burn him to rid him of evil, grows up having an obsession with fire. The film opens with Donald being mesmerized when a co-worker is engulfed during a freak accident.

Afterwards, Donald returns home to discover his mother is dead and he is free from her tyranny and with ghostly voices echoing his head, mixed with the torments of his mother, Donny decides along with smoking and listening to disco records, to punish all women who remind him of his wicked mother.

It does sound very Psycho and during the early stages of the movie, you can clearly see where it takes its inspiration from.

So Donald rings in sick and panels the walls in a bedroom with steel and chains before picking up a victim and setting her on fire with his flamethrower.

The effects in this scene are grim but highly well done and, of course, nowadays it’s clear to see how the effect is done.

Gore aside this scene is pivotal to the film as it shows what Donald is capable of and the lengths his psychosis has driven him to.
Richard Long

I discovered besides this early scene, this film isn’t a gore fest and it’s actually well crafted. During the slaughter of Donald’s next victims, we aren’t given the chance to see their tormented death because, of course, there is no need to.

We have already seen what Donald does and this film isn’t about shock value but works more effectively with its high tension. However, worth mentioning must be when the film was released, and the early scene I’ve mentioned was cut out completely thanks to the BBFC. I can imagine viewers felt rather cheated.

Almost every other shocking murder happens off-screen. There is high tension as unlucky victims fall for Donald’s charms and, just when you think the film is becoming too bleak, Donald is convinced by a wife cheating colleague to go to a disco. It’s here were we have some wonderful comic relief moments.

Donald tries on the latest 70’s fashion in a clothes store with a camp store worker, which is filmed and played brilliantly. It’s a scene that takes all the tension and darkness away and allows the viewer to take a breath before the bizarre second act.

We also have a wonderful disco scene where Donald decides to thrust his date’s head into a candle in over the top comedy (which isn’t played for a laugh).

By this point, the movie has stripped away the subtlety of the first half and replaced it with zombie-like creatures of the women Donald has killed, over the top screaming and a bizarre ending that seems almost tagged onto it.

Don’t go in the House was made as a drive-thru movie and there are some slices of America in it which remind me fondly of the movies I grew up on. It also, for all its Psycho influences, is a very well shot movie with great acting and a storyline that is always moving forward with a nice pace to it. The tension in scenes where Donald is building his torture room and calling in sick is wonderfully filmed, and leaves the viewer dreading what could be about to take place.

Demons (1985)

Directed by Lamberto Bava

When I was young my mum took me to school and stopped me at the gates and said ‘Richard we have no money to buy you birthday presents, but I promise we will rent a video and I’ll make us a nice tea.’

I’ve never forgotten that moment and never forgot the film we rented. At the time Demons was the most talked about movie in my small town. All my friends had seen it and marvelled in its over the top scares and gore.

It’s odd that this little horror movie means so much to me, but it does. And when I watch it I remember watching it with my mother and wish we could watch it together again.

A group of strangers are invited to the premiere of a movie by a masked man giving out tickets to the Metropol cinema. It must be said, although the tickets have been given away for free, being a nameless film it has attracted a strange mix of an audience.

Along with Tony the Pimp and his lady friends, we have an old couple of which the male has serious anger issues, a blind man, a loner pervert who steels the blind man’s niece for a game of find the sausage and the typical snogging teenagers.

Main heroine Cheryl (Natasha Hovey) and her friend Kathy decide to skip their college class and go along, hoping it won’t be a horror movie.

It doesn’t take long before the events are shown on screen in the nameless horror transpire to the cinema. The sinister mask on screen it seems is a gateway to bring about Demons. When a guy (in the movie being watched) puts it on, he soon reveals he too has a scratch in the same place as poor cinema goer Rosemary, who decided she would try on the mask that is on display in the foyer…that’ll teach you to touch things.

For those that haven’t seen Demons, imagine the possessed in Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead, only slightly more pissed off.
Richard Long

The gore in Demons is over the top in a Evil Dead sort of way, and impressively done. Especially the scene where the camera is close up inside someone’s torn flesh and we can see bubbles of puss-filled spots exploding…nice.

In one scene, hero George blasts through the cinema on a motorbike, wielding a ninja sword, chick on the back and heavy metal music is pumping. As a kid, I thought there was nothing cooler.

Dario Argento produced this epic and you can tell as the lighting is phenomenal, lit in places with deep reds and blues.

Demons is like an AC/DC record, once it starts there’s no let-up and no slowing down. It just gets deeper and deeper in fear and intensity, taking itself completely seriously and never looking cheap or losing pace.

They really don’t make them like Demons anymore, which is such a shame.

The Innkeepers (2011)

Directed by Ti West

I was drawn to this film after reading a review in which it was compared to the Shining. I knew the director’s work from his earlier film ‘House of the Devil’

I rented The Innkeepers and watched it alone in the dark.

The film centre on two hotel workers, working their last shifts at a hotel about to close down. The dialogue between the two workers is great and I found them very interesting and funny, regardless of the horror that was to unfold.

Haunted house or hotel movies are nothing new, but I felt director Ti West had breathed life into the genre with his style of film making. Also, writing the script fast and shooting, the movie plays quickly without spending time toying with it.

I was pleasantly reminded of films like ‘Clerks’ with two main stars, and I found the ghost story fascinating and at times there are some genuine scares to be had.

The Frightened Woman (1969)

Directed by Piero Schivazappa

The Frightened Woman was a film I didn’t think I was going to find remotely interesting, and how wrong I was. It is based around a quiet woman called Maria, who works in publicity with her strict employer Dr Sayer, a man who has serious issues concerning feminism and women’s rights.

When she asks the moody, good looking employer for some research material, he tells her he has it at home.

Nowadays, she’d just use the internet, but hey this is 1969. Instead, she goes to her boss’s house. We already know that’s not a good idea. Once there, it’s not long before she is drugged.

Waking up, she listens to her boss telling how he hates women and enjoys torturing and murdering them – as a sort of weekend hobby way before Xbox and Netflix was a thing.

Maria tries hard to convince him she’s different, but he doesn’t listen and enjoys torturing her more. Now when I say torture, this isn’t Saw or Hostel. This film is as camp as Christmas, the methods of torture are somewhat laughable as Dr Sayer swoons like some sort of Bond villain.

I was wondering where this movie was going to go until, eventually, the lovely Maria suffers a sort of Stockholm syndrome and Dr Sayer lets his guard down until we have a happy couple running through fields together. The film ups the campiness so much it looks like an early Carry On film.

There is something so charming and endearing about this film. It’s not a grisly giallo and is unlike most other Italian horror. I just found myself enjoying the ride. I actually wanted things to work out for the couple.

A lot of work has clearly went into the theme and look of Dr Sayers home, and it wouldn’t be the sixties without psychedelic imagery.

In one wonderful scene, Sayer is enjoying Maria’s company in a car and we see a train go by filled with ribbons of colour and standing on top, a group of brass band players, serenading Sayers as he reaches climax.

The film is never disturbing and there is a lot of comedy in it, some unintentional. There are two twists in the film, which I won’t spoil. But when the first one was revealed I found myself rewinding the DVD to listen to it again. At that point, I was gripped. It’s a shame little movies like this one don’t get made today and are largely forgotten.

Footprints on the Moon (1975)

Directed by Luigi Bazzoni

I remember clearly when I discovered this movie. I was going through the lovefilm instant (which later became Amazon Prime) listings and I found this and remembered seeing the trailer a while ago. There are many giallos out there, but this one is different from the rest.

It’s a haunting movie. In one aspect it’s a film about one woman slowly losing her mind.

Alice Cespi (Florinda Bolkan) life is falling away from her. She remembers a memory from childhood where she saw a film involving an astronaut who left to die on the moon. After missing work and losing track of time, her condition and use of tranquillizers are spiralling.

She – finds a photo from a place she has no memory of going to, so she goes to that place, called Garma after receiving a mysterious postcard. There, she runs into a child, who explains to her that she looks like another lady called Nicole.

Alice then explores the resort, discovering strange circumstances between her and the missing stranger Nicole, all of which brings her further to an awful truth.

I am in love with this movie. I hold it very dear to me. It’s lonely in places and isolating but you feel you’re right there with Alice. There are some fabulous cinematography and stunning desolate shots. Florinda Bolkan is wonderful in her role as Alice, strong and yet powerless at the same time.

Footprints is a film that given time, will stay with you long after your first viewing.

Paranormal Activity 2007

Directed by Oren Peli

I think Paranormal Activity worked so well for me because when I saw the first movie I knew nothing about it. In fact I’d seen a trailer for a film called The Fourth Kind and I thought PA was that movie. So when I watched it for the first time, yes, I knew it wasn’t real, but the simple ideas and wonderful acting left me scared and intrigued.

The first movie stayed in my head for weeks. The scene of Kate being dragged by an unseen entity freaked me out.

All shot on camcorders —I thought the found footage movie was redundant. But Paranormal Activity learns from its predecessors and offers a scary ride.

Paranormal Activity revolves around Kate, who after a troubled childhood finds herself living in a house where paranormal phenomena is taking place. Her husband sets up a video camera in their bedroom and films every night. The film is then one scene at night followed by a morning-after scene of Kate and Mitch reviewing the footage they shot.

The film works really well and is believable for the most part as it’s just one static camera filming everything. This really could be your neighbours down the street.

Things go from bad to worse when Kate starts sleeping-walking and doors open and close. To which I wasn’t scared of but I was scared of what ‘might’ happen next. These films of course should be watched in the dark and I did watch PA in the dark.

I was genuinely scared but also fascinated by the storyline about a young woman being haunted because of things that happened in her past. Like Blair Witch, this movie made a lot of money and became a marmite film amongst horror fans.

Where Blair Witch shot itself in the foot by making a sequel that openly laughed at the first movie, and cast away the found footage motif for a normal movie, the PA series has stuck with its winning formula of the first film, sometimes getting it wrong, but always keeping the storyline consistent.

Sleepless (2001)

Directed by Dario Argento

Sleepless is Dario Argento’s return to the Giallo movie. Some have criticized this movie for being too similar in its approach as his earlier work, but when Argento tried to movie directly away in the same genre with The Card Player, he was criticized for being too different. It seems you can’t win.

Detective Moretti (Max von Sydow) is investigating a series of murders in Turin in 1983 known as The Dwarf Murders. The film opens with a mournful Moretti explaining to a young boy that he will find the person that killed his mother. Right away the role of Moretti flourishes in the hands of Sydow. Even before he opens his mouth you can feel the characters deep upset for the young boy.

To say this film belongs to Dario Argento would be wrong. He shares it with Max Von Sydow, who is so wonderful to watch on screen as much as Argento’s stylish set-pieces.

What I liked about Sleepless was how realistic the special effects looked. There is one scene involving a musical instrument that made me cringe —it was so brutal.

I remember the old Argento films, although they look wonderful, the effects have dated in some scenes and that is what makes Sleepless different. I enjoyed Sleepless, a lot more than The Card Player. It is a well-crafted film with a storyline that is deep and rich. Just like Argento’s older Giallo movies, whilst with the added masterful acting of Sydow, brings a lot more to a character who comes to life off the page.

Brutal and stylish, Sleepless, it’s an Argento’s fans dream.

The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987)

Directed by Rod Amateau

Good you’re still reading! The Garbage Pail Kids Movie is a 1987 live-action film, based on the popular trading cards. The cards themselves were a parody of the popular Cabbage Patch Kids dolls and featured characters, which were disgusting, abnormal or focused on cultural figures, they mocked them.

The film depicted a handful of the most popular characters, one from each series of cards. This film holds the legendary title of “the worst movie ever made”.

The film centres on bullied kid Dodger, who works for eccentric Brit Captain Manzini (played by the only good actor in the film, Anthony Newley) at his antique store. Also in the store is a garbage pail which, when opened, releases seven of the Garbage Pail Kids. The kids try to solve Dodgers love life and hunt for their friends, and they do some breaking and entering, stealing, drinking beer and having bar fights in the process.

Sound crude? It is, but that’s why kids loved it. When I first saw this movie I, like so many other kids, was into trading and collecting the stickers. They were everywhere in popular culture and when the movie came out, every kid in my school was into it. It was rude, it had fart jokes, and had more edge than the stuff aimed at kids at the time. It has been established that not a single critic gave this film a positive review.

But this wasn’t a film aimed at critics. It was kids who took this to their hearts. I clearly remember sitting in the television room at school where every year we gathered to either watch Sinbad or Indiana Jones. Those were the only two movies we ever fucking watched.

Well, this one year some kid submitted to the teachers the Garbage Pail Kids. After the teachers informed us they would consider it, we were told no. It was inappropriate, and we were forced to watch Indiana Jones with its Nazi’s and melting faces.

An interesting fact is that John Carl Buechler, the man responsible for Nightmare on Elm Street 4 and Troll, was considered to direct the film, and his version of the story was going to be a straight-up horror film, in which the Garbage Pail Kids would have spawned from radioactive sludge that had found its way to a garbage can filled with broken dolls, turning them into serial killers.

It’s a film that, when I watch it now, I gasp at the concepts, like a state home for ugly people. Breaking into a store and stealing whilst singing a happy song. It’s so insanely wrong that I wonder if the producers realised this at the time.

I’m not saying this is a great film, it’s not even a good film, but I do like it, and know in part that comes down to nostalgia. This was the punk film for a child of the 80’s. Parents hated it and kids loved it all the more as a result. For the kid that sat in that stuffy television room at school being forced to watch Indiana Jones Garbage Pail Kids was my escape card and one I have enjoyed revisiting ever since.

The Evil Dead (1981)

Directed by Sam Raimi

Evil Dead 1 & 2 Double Feature [Blu-ray]

I have to mention this movie, along with Dawn of the Dead and The Shining. It’s my favourite movie of all time. The ultimate experience in gruelling horror is how it was labelled, or as horror writing godfather Stephen King put it, ‘The most ferociously original horror movie of the year’ the evil dead in my opinion is the best horror film ever made.

It’s a film with over the top gore and plenty of scares, a real punk rock grungy feel but with plentiful artistic flair.

When the film came out I can still remember my dad letting me watch it and being completely scared out of my mind for months afterwards. Some friends say The Exorcist is the scariest film they ever saw, but for me, it was always this little movie set in a cabin in the woods.

I have fond memories of being at the video store talking about and sharing in the controversy of this movie. The Evil Dead is a fun movie that doesn’t take its violence as seriously as the BBFC took it.

The video caused a nasty scandal in the UK. Then, an awful chopped version was released on video, until its uncut version that was finally allowed and the first UK DVD version came out in 2001.

Over the years, the film has had more re-releases than many other horror movies. Anchor Bay has given us a few versions, one with a cool Book of the Dead cover. Lately, we have Sony’s bizarre Blu-ray, which covers over the film’s mistakes of matted on moons, from which they have painstakingly taken out the blink. You’ll miss Robert Tapert caught unawares, as the car is crossing over the collapsing bridge.

I do like a nice print of a film but hate it when studios mess with what doesn’t need to be messed with. Aren’t imperfections what define movies?

The storyline of Evil Dead is simple. It’s a simple plot. Five kids go to a cabin in the woods and one by one they become possessed, leading to all sorts of dismemberment and tomfoolery. However, just because a story is straight forward and could be written on the back of a beer mat doesn’t mean it’s not fascinating. Especially, in a master storyteller’s hands like director Sam Raimi.

The Evil Dead is a viewing experience and not a film that carries well in storylines on the back of VHS and DVD boxes.

I mean, take a Beatles song. Very simple in structure, but when put together by people who knew their craft, we have a masterpiece. Copycat movies tried and failed to mimic the Evil Dead in terms of gore, but all lacked any talent or imagination.

Raimi shot the Evil Dead on a shoestring but does some amazing things with that budget, from hovering ghouls to camera movements that twist and turn 360 degrees added to the mood and mindset of the main character Ash (Bruce Campbell).

There are some genuinely scary moments, and some over the top sheer brilliant masterful violence, which borrows more from the three Stooges than just the horror genre.

However, there is a sheer terror to The Evil Dead. It’s filled with plenty of scares and frightening moments, with some lightly added comedic moments of relief which add to the adrenaline-fuelled black rainbow ride.

Afterwards came Evil Dead 2 and Army of Darkness and a host of books, video games, and a musical. The sequels were better made and polished but they took the comedy to the forefront turning every scene of carnage into a laugh riot, until the third film pushed the horror away even further replacing it with adventure and one-liners.

Of course Bruce Campbell became the iconic horror star he is today because of this franchise but I found the sequels quite saddening as I never felt the menace or skin crawling terror like I did with the first outing.

The Evil Dead was a powerhouse of an indie move that lifted you up and shocked everyone who ever watched it but left you with a grin on your face.

Bruce Campbell in The Evil Dead isn’t the strong hero character we know him as today, he’s a young scared cowardly Ash who I thought survived his demonic friends purely by luck. Yet he seems more human and easier to relate with rather than the superhero he would become.

Sam Raimi took horror to a whole new level with The Evil Dead. The fact that the director could go from this to the likes of Darkman, The Quick and the Dead and Spider-man just shows us how talented he is. But he’s never forgotten his bloody roots, returning to the genre that made him with the fantastic ‘Drag me to Hell’ (2009).

I implore anyone that hasn’t seen The Evil Dead (is that possible?) to watch it and witness his passion and artistic brilliance for themselves.

Richard Long

2021

Also, read the poem LONELY TIDE by Richard Long

tbm horror experts - dark poetry - richard long

About the author

Richard Long is an author of novels, plays, short stories and poetry. Several plays have been performed live and his short stories published. He is best known for his poetry collection Words From a Haunted Mouth which ‘Day of the Dead’ actress Lori Cardille described as ‘Sometimes we must walk into the dark spaces to see the light. Richard Long’s beautiful and haunting poetry, helps us find our true nature.’

He also had poetry and stories published in several anthologies by Hellbound Books and Deadman Tome. He has collaborated with author Richard Raven on several stories all available on amazon.

Richard lives with his wife and children in the U.K.

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